If you’re not both enthusiastically headed towards real commitment, your best strategy is to cut your losses and get back into the dating pool.8.We Fall Victim to the Sunk Cost Fallacy We often stay in bad relationships because we’ve already invested lots time and effort to try and make the relationship work. But this is a poor strategy, because our prior investment is immaterial.A young woman once told me that she was ditching her “nice guy” boyfriend for her drug-addicted, unemployed ex, with whom she’d been on and off for four years.She didn’t want a good guy, and she made very sure she didn’t wind up with one.
And it never pays to settle for a man who isn’t cut out for marriage and/or fatherhood.10.
We Fail to Set Boundaries We find ourselves putting up with behaviors we swore we’d never tolerate. Yet we still don’t speak up for fear of rocking the boat (which is already leaky). This sends a clear message that we lack self-respect, thereby ensuring more bad treatment. It’s crucial to know that we can survive without the relationship, and may be called upon to do so. We Don’t Acknowledge Relationship Stagnation We should see growth, or forward movement, in any healthy relationship.
Increased intimacy, bonding, growing feelings of love and the desire to be permanently exclusive with our partner are the natural products of a compatible and promising relationship.
We shouldn’t “throw good money after bad.”One set of studies found that as singles get older, they tend to “double down” with low quality prospects.
This is not entirely surprising – it reflects reduced options.