That's because "when people are willing to work through the emotional challenges of a divorce proactively and learn from the experience, they enter new relationships with more maturity and self-awareness.Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Don't avoid discussing the fact that you're divorced; just approach it effectively."Be straightforward about your divorce, but don't burden your new dates/partners with the past," says Newton.
"Then take a breath and ask yourself: 'Who is this person right here in front of me, and how does he or she make me feel in this moment?
Whether it's been one year or six since the divorce decree, you may never know with absolute clarity that you're truly ready for another relationship.
Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .
' That practice can bring you back to the present." Newton stresses the importance of breaking this habit: "If you're stuck in comparison mode, you can't appreciate your date for who they really are – they'll just be a reflection of what worked or didn't work about your ex."If you've been out of dating for quite some time, it's okay to be rusty. "You can't expect yourself to be a dating pro from the first moment you jump back in.
Take it easy and take the process at whatever pace feels comfortable to you." But, Newton says, "if you're experiencing inordinate amounts of fear about dating, that's a pretty good clue that you have some unresolved trauma from the marriage to work through.