Maybe you're busy fighting societal norms or embracing your inner Betty Draper, but no matter what your status, the truth remains: Your friends are settling down. At the very least, you're tired of being the only friend without a Plus One to drag to all the parties. "The Universe" doesn't know that you're ready to meet "the one." You have to go find him yourself, and that (usually) takes work. Dating, getting to know someone and (especially) deciding if you want that person to be your life partner are all steps in a delicate process that requires patience and restraint. The key is to hold onto the important things — kindness, affection, ambition or whatever it is that sustains you — and let go of the more frivolous stuff. Right will just stroll on in with a bottle of bubbly and a fistful of roses.They are in their playboy prime years whilst you are looking to settle down - and a forty-year-old man is far more likely to be thinking marriage and kids than a thirty-three-year-old one. Talking of which, *never* mention marriage and kids.It’s a cliché that all women in their late thirties are obsessed with settling down, but clichés become clichés for a reason – because there’s truth behind them. Sure, if the subject comes up, it’s fair to mention it’s something that’s on your radar, but ask a man his five-year plan on your first date and he’ll be out that door quicker than you can say ‘cheque please’. Before you write off everyone for all the wrong reasons, just remember that as you age, the stakes get higher. Few things in life follow a sequential order, and your love life isn't one of them. But your dates aren't managers, bartenders or flight attendants. (or Ms.) Right, and your hunt has extended into your 30s, consider yourself one of the lucky ones: You're finally wise enough to realize that being committed to one partner actually require a dose of settling; it's called compromise. Let's start off strong here, folks: if you don't pick up any tips in the dating game in your 20s, suffice it say that your 30s ain't looking so good, either. Or when you land the perfect apartment that you can finally afford with west-facing light and enough closet space to fit all of your shoes, the man of your dreams will just wander into your orbit. And yes, when it comes to salaries, martinis and aisle seats, it makes sense to ask for exactly what you want. If you're someone who happens to be on the hunt for Mr.Now, I’m not suggesting we lower our standards but it’s important *if you are looking for a long-term relationship* to be realistic about what’s out there.
Having said that, if you are a dating a guy who is clearly a player or just in it for a bit of fun, stop wasting your time.
The only thing that should be of importance in a potential new partner is chemistry, everything else … The narrower your criteria, the less likely you are to find someone within it.
And actually, it really is often the case that love turns up in the places you least expect it.
But you’ve got to give people a chance – there is such a thing as a grower (ahem) and a first date (especially when online dating) is an unnatural environment, sometimes it takes a bit of time for a person’s real personality to shine through.
Rule #5 Don’t write someone off within 5 minutes of meeting them. If you spend your life envisaging the perfect man and the life you’re going to have with him, you should probably invest in a few cats now and save yourself the bother down the road – because living off dreams gets you nowhere.