Attraction must always be present and must always come prior to any romantic connection.It doesn't have to be physical, but I think there needs to be something about that person that turns you on.Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first.When you're true friends from the beginning, you don't have to pretend." I don't disagree with anything Cornish says, but why does she make it seem like honesty, kindness and respect are only inherent in friendships, not in romance?Attraction is that magic ingredient that makes your heart race when you get a text message from your sweetheart or what fills your stomach with butterflies whenever you see him at your doorway. no one ever announces "Ok, we've achieved successful Friends status and are now ready to proceed to whatever Step #2 is (dating/hooking up/going steady/being lovers/soulmates/marriage) -- in short, the infamous next level".
In most cases I've seen, one partner has hidden their attraction, whether from the start or after a failed courting attempt, and has been biding their time. And that's the benefit of a foundation of true friendship! I myself fell in love with a guy, and it started with just a friendship, I didn't find him at all attractive when we first met.(One sees this "friends first" business all the time as the headline in women's personals ads on singles sites.) I mean, who's gonna actually be friends with someone, much less court them, when the first thing they do is start dictating the terms of the relationship?(A: the weasel — the guy with no other options who hangs around under false pretenses hoping to eventually be rewarded for playing by the rules.) I think it's all this disingenuousness -- maybe it's simple confusion, maybe it's just a bad euphemism or a cop-out -- which leads to "friends first" not working so well.When I meet someone, I can size him up in about 30 seconds and decide whether or not we will ever see each other naked.If I'm attracted to a guy, then I really can't befriend him.