It shakes your confidence.” While Kim, on the other hand, didn’t regale me with a story about using the later approach, she told me, “I’d hate to develop feelings for somebody and find out that guy’s a jerk.I advocate getting it out a little sooner.” So while “later” can theoretically provide an opportunity to gauge a potential relationship and manage the introduction of your child’s autism in a controlled fashion, there’s a possible danger of false intimacy and disillusionment. I scared her off, and to be honest, I knew it would happen. She’s a career woman, has a “type-A” personality, never been married, no children, clearly high maintenance. I can tell we’re done—the conversation that follows is feigned interest at best.I felt there was a connection between us, but when I finally did tell him, he was like a deer caught in the headlights, and I never heard from him again.It was the first time that autism scared someone away, and it hurt.Summary: Getting What You Want Is Knowing What You Want!
” While that’s a humorous anecdote that turns a “con” into a “pro,” in the end the decision whether to take this approach depends on your honest assessment of what it is you want in a relationship. This time, I’m determined to see if I can establish a chemistry with the beautiful brunette sitting across from me. Angel: “Erik, long-term success only comes through mutual trust … If she can see me as a happy, well-adjusted guy with whom she enjoys keeping company, then maybe the revelation about my daughter’s autism won’t be so jarring.
Maybe she’ll like me enough to give things a chance when I decide to spring the “A” word. Through the course of our date, I learn she’s a schoolteacher, loves listening to R&B music and enjoys camping. Eventually, she asks me about my daughter, and I’m purposefully vague. ” It’s at this point that being vague no longer works and I am faced with either telling her about Miranda’s autism, or evading the questions all together. Perhaps whatever preconceptions she has about autism will take a backseat to how she feels about me. but that approach, statistically, has never brought me a lasting relationship.
After a few superficial questions, her queries become more pointed: “Does your daughter know that you date? It seems, however, to lend itself nicely to casual dating.
Kim, a friend from California, had several instances where mentioning her child’s autism sooner put an abrupt halt to the new relationship. It would be nice to get close for a change, wouldn’t it? ” Having decided to create a different outcome, I ignore the angel’s advice. We discuss what autism means for my daughter, her challenges, her strengths and how I’ve been involved in advocacy for biomedical research, etc. While my date is outwardly interested, there is an air of concern in her voice and mannerisms, and I can tell she has some contemplating to do.
In fact, she once mentioned it as a way to get rid of someone. “Oh, Miranda handled our divorce like a trooper,” I reply airily. She doesn’t ask many questions.” Yikes, that’s stretching it, although technically everything I said is correct. I pick up the check, we say our farewell and she kisses me goodnight! In fact, we ended up going out for another week or so, but it ended shortly thereafter.